Friday

Its Friday, all my friends are happy. She is not. She is bored. She is lonely.

Everyone has fear. She just seems so brave but she is not. She is scared of loneliness. She is scared of boredom. She is scared of darkness. She is scared that she cannot find the way out. She is scared. She admits it.

Am I going to be a workaholic? I am scared. I dont want that. I want companion. Everyone is busy with somebody. I am busy with work. I can see that day coming. I dont want that.

When I am alone, I am bored. When I am with people, I dont know how to enjoy them or enjoy with them. - I heard.

Such is life. my friend told me, MY LIFE IS FULL OF I DONT KNOW.

She said I m weird.

She said I m different

She said I would be the friend that she is proud of.

Should I run away?

yes, i will change

yes, i will change.

you would find me weird

Hey,

I think its worth staying back after the last session. I got a lot from him. He's really awesome.

He said we should have dream. Yea, I have.

I love the sea. I want a boat. And if possible, a submarine.

Have you done sailing? I have.

Have you learned all the marine language? I have.

Life has been good.

Medicine + Sea = my future.

I want to work for MSF too. I wish I can straight after med school.

You may think I am weird because

1. I hate holidays

2. I eat a lot.

3. I need people around

4. I hate absolute quietness

Okay, I need to do something to achieve those dreams right?

Please remind me to study when you see me, okay??

And stop telling me to play. Life is still a long way to go. When I choose this path, no more playing, no more.

Holiday

Hey its holiday

I hate holiday. its 5 weeks. there should never be holiday for med student.

Friends

They are enjoying their holiday. Are they? I assume they are. Stay at home. No need to come to school. Or they are studying like crazy at home? who knows? I told them I am bored. So? Nobody would care.

Sacrifice.

He asked me to stay back. Okay, I stayed. And now, alone, feeling lonely. I feel like I am locked up in the jail. Everyone is scared of him. Or respect him. Best doctor Ever. After two weeks, I dont see that. Really. Is he worth the sacrifice? I want to see how he squeeze people's brain. I want to see how he torture people. But no, he stopped drinking milo + coffee. Bla. a waste of time.

Am I really sacrificing? Or am I just running away from reality.

What if I am home now? What will I be doing?

Exam

they should give us exam now. Then, everyone will be in school, studying. Isnt it?

I get to see my friends. We have never been closer,, only days before exam.

Trust

Yes, you said you want to study anatomy. But, what happen??

The trust can never been solid enough. It is just superficial. We can never do half half or even one tenth.

Maybe I am just complaining.

Sorry, I am so so lack of support now. Realised the importance of HEP. That is so true.