Hey why are you the magician in my dream? I wish you could be closer. I dont want to watch your magic show as an audience with everyone else. Cant you perform just for me?
You are so good, playing tricks with tigers, making things disappear, doing things any audience want you to do. Cant you teach me some? I want to perform wonder too. Is it a question of trust? You said you trust me. I am worried that I cannot be as good as you want me to be. You performed, you showed everyone, but I never get to learn the tricks. Sigh. Its my wishful thinking to learn magic tricks from you. Can you not always appear in my dream? You disrupt my thoughts, my sleep and my everyday life.
Anyway,
Such is life. I am feeling stressful. Why cant I be more capable? I know I am lacking and I need to study. I need to practice. Why? I used to be happy, excited. Now, its just fear and stress. Did I lose my enthusiasm and doing things just to please these people? I dont know.
Mum said I must master it before school starts. I practically do that most of the time nowadays. I have lost my momentum. The previous plan doesn't work. Sigh.
